Going back to the basics.

When I first came into recovery, I spent the first 2.5 years repeatedly bumping my head and relapsing.

When I finally stayed clean and was working the first step with my sponsor I was shown 2 key sentences from the step in the Basic Text:

– The foundation of our program is the admission that we, of ourselves, do not have power over addiction.

– When we could no longer stand our old ways, we began to change.

I did not understand this in the beginning. I came to the rooms in order to “control” my using. I realized at that point that control is impossible. It is a binary proposition – Either I am clean or I am slowly killing myself.

Today, I understand that “I can’t but we can.” and I understand that “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

The mantra that we recited over and over continues to ring through my head “No matter what, WE must not use.”

These lessons apply to all areas of life, not just recovery from addictions.

Each day I have a choice. Thank you God for that choice.